REAL LOVE

LOVE SUFFERS LONG - meaning you are patient with the person. Patient when they make the same mistakes over and over. Patient when they seem to give up. Patient with their faults.

AND IS KIND - If we keep in mind that the purpose of real love is to seek the welfare of the one loved, then we see why real love must not only be patient but gracious. Kindness, not harshness, is more apt to encourage good in another person. Just as Proverbs says that "a soft answer turns away wrath" (15:1), so love that is practical and useful is skillful in bringing out the best rather than the worst in the one loved. Jesus reminds us that while love calls for truth, truth expressed without kindness is not loving. He reminds us that while love calls for patience, patience without kindness is not loving either.

LOVE DOES NOT ENVY - You don't get jealous of this person. What they have, who they are friends with, what kind of job they have, what kind of status they have, what kind of family they have. Jealousy wants what someone else has, but bragging tries to make others jealous of what we have. Remember comparrison is the seed and Jealousy is the fruit!
Real love says, "I can be happy for you, even if I never achieve the accomplishments, recognition, or comforts that you are enjoying. While I might wish myself more, I could not wish you less."


LOVE DOES NOT PARADE ITSELF
Love does not brag about its accomplishments. It is not given to self-display, not even to carefully worded statements of subtle self-promotion.
This concept finds ancient roots in the Bible. King Solomon said it well when he wrote, "Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth" (Prov. 27:2). Simply put, real love doesn't push itself into the spotlight.
Real love not only applauds the successes of another, but it knows how to handle its own wins when they come. I've heard it said that "for every 100 people who can handle adversity, there are only 10 who can handle prosperity."

IS NOT PUFFED UP
By contrast, puffed-up people, full of themselves and having an exaggerated opinion of their own importance, are likely to assume that their happiness, well-being, opinions, and feelings are the only things that really count. Puffed-up people find it easy to dismiss the needs and feelings of others.
The first place we might look to see if we have a puffed-up sense of our own importance is in our prayers. Do we pray only for ourselves and our own interests, or do we also pray for the children, spouses, and concerns of others? The simple truth is that real love does not allow us to assume that our health, our prosperity, our home, or our family is any more important than our neighbor's.


DOES NOT BEHAVE RUDELY
It reminds us that the honorable nature of real love will never make inappropriate demands of others. Real love will never prompt an unmarried person to say, "If you love me, you'll prove it by giving yourself to me." Those who love will never ask others to prove their loyalty by lying, cheating, or stealing for them.
By not behaving rudely, real love does not use the "love" of a friendship to pressure anyone to do something that is contrary to the principles of conscience or faith, or to the moral principles of God.
Real love, according to Paul, never pressures another person to do something that is wrong. Real love seeks the best for the one loved--not the personal gain, pleasure, or control that manipulation is often designed to achieve.

DOES NOT SEEK IT'S OWN
It speaks of the person whose focus is outward, not inward. It describes the heart that is not so consumed with its own interests that it cannot show concern for the needs and interests of others.

In Philippians 2, Paul expressed the same principle of real love this way:

If there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love . . . . Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others


IS NOT PROKOVOKED
In other words, real love does not have a short fuse. It is not touchy or irritable. How easily we can forget this important quality of real love. After a few years of mutual disappointment, husbands and wives become easily provoked with each other. Exasperated parents shout unkindly at their children in frustration. Workers show a quick temper when an employer or fellow worker fails to give the consideration that not only is deserved but has been agreed to. Citizens become incensed when public servants use their office to violate the public trust. Why do we get provoked? Sometimes we simmer and boil inside because we want what we want, when we want it--and we won't take "later" for an answer. Sometimes our temper provides evidence of our own selfishness.

THINKS NO EVIL
Saying that love "thinks no evil" means that it won't keep records of unkindnesses with the intent of someday getting even. In other words, real love will not hold bitter grudges or allow longstanding resentments against others, even when the wrongs done against us are real.

DOES NOT REJOICE IN INIQUITY
Love does not hide evil by keeping secrets that need to be exposed. Love does not pass along a "juicy morsel" of someone else's failure just because it tastes good to do so. Love does not gossip to break the monotony, or to appear knowledgeable, or to feel better about itself by publishing the news of someone else's shame. Breaking the news of sin must be for the good of others rather than to promote a "feeding frenzy" around someone else's embarrassment and pain.

BUT REJOICES IN TRUTH
Paul's words to the Thessalonians give us a clue why he said "love rejoices with the truth." He wants us to think about the profound relationship between what we believe and what we do. On one hand, what we believe determines what we do. On the other hand, what we want to do determines what we are willing to believe. This is why the Bible puts such an emphasis on right beliefs. Good doctrine is right thinking about God, ourselves, and others. Right thinking, in turn, allows us to love one another in truth rather than in a setting of self-deception. All unrighteousness denies the truth. All wrong behavior is rooted in a misbelief about reality. All immorality is rooted in a process of self-deception that says, "I know better than God how to further my own interests and the interests of others."

BEARS ALL THINGS
The word bears comes from a Greek word that means "roof." The point is grand in its simplicity. Love covers and protects like a roof covers a house and protects it from storms. Love bears up and continues to work for the good of others regardless of what happens. Love bears the storms of disappointment, the rains of failure, and the winds of time and circumstance. Love provides a covering that shields from the extremes of cold winters and hot summer sun. Love provides a place of shelter that can withstand the worst circumstances imaginable.
Love cannot protect others from the harsh realities of living in a broken world. Neither can it protect others from the consequences of their own choices. But love does give broken, hurting people a place to find someone who cares for their good and well-being. Love gives even unrepentant people an advocate and intercessor who prays for their ultimate well-being. Love offers even the worst sinners a place to bring their repentant hearts.

BELIEVES ALL THINGS
The truth that "love believes all things" is central to our understanding of Christlike love. Real love is rooted and grounded in faith. Faith, in turn, is rooted and grounded in what God has said in His Word.
Without faith in God, love quits and dies. Unless we continue to "believe all things" God has said, our love will not survive the disappointments, rejections, and insults of life. Unless we build our love firmly on the Word of God, love will throw in the towel. Only by faith in God can love remain strong.

HOPES ALL THINGS
The psalmist said of God, "My hope is in You," (Ps. 39:7). Paul wrote, "Hope does not disappoint" (Rom. 5:5). And Peter added, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who . . . has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead" (1 Pet. 1:3).
This is the power of love. It is fueled and sustained not by an ever-changing emotional or physical state, but by deep beliefs and hopes that are given by God to those who trust Him. Real love has a capacity to view life--and live it--with an optimism that is refreshing because of "Christ in you, the hope of glory" (Col. 1:27


ENDURES ALL THINGS
Here the emphasis is on how we respond to life in general. Love doesn't give up. It doesn't quit. It doesn't walk away. It perseveres to the point where it "endures all things."

LOVE NEVER FAILS
Real love is a survivor. Because it finds its source and life in God, real love can endure anything. Even when the nature of our relationships change due to unfortunate human choices, the love of God can cause us to pray and, where possible, to act in behalf of another person. It is the love that reflects the heart of Christ and reveals the wonderful change that only He can make in a life. It is real love


(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)